Learn Surviving Infidelity Tips to Stop the Cycle
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Infidelity is a violation of physical, emotional, and sexual commitments made by a couple when they get married. It is not only a violation of trust but also a breach in the respect held by each partner. An individual who has been unfaithful has created pain, not only for their spouse who has experienced the betrayal, but they themselves are not experiencing the pain of infidelity. So, you may be asking, if it’s hurts so many people, how can we avoid it?
Great questions. It is possible to avoid it, and it is possible to survive it. First it is important to know the various types of infidelity a couple can experience in order to understand what you’re facing.
Five types of Infidelity:
1 – Opportunistic Infidelity: This is an individual who feels a sense of attachment of desire for both their spouse and a lover and eventually surrenders their sexual desire for that other person. This type of infidelity is often driven by an individual who is more prone to situational risk-taking behavior.
2 – Obligatory Infidelity: This individual enters infidelity though a perceived sense of entrapment or obligation to an advancer that has been pursuing them for some time. The spouse may have been able to deny the advances of the other for some time but eventually experiences a sense of guilt or rejections that leads them to cheating. Despite the infidelity this spouse usually still holds intimate attraction for their spouse.
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3 – Romantic Infidelity: In this type the spouse who has cheated has fallen out of love with his/her partner or spouse.
4 – Conflicted Romantic Infidelity: This individual is conflicted by experiences of love and desire for both their partner out side of marriage and their marriage partner. They tend to remain romantically and sexually involved with both their partner and spouse.
5 – Commemorative Infidelity: This individual typically has fallen completely out of love for his or her spouse but remains committed to the relationship.
Many individuals find themselves stuck or without direction once the suspect their spouse in cheating on them. The actual betrayal can be painful, but how do you work through this? One method is to seek the professional support of a marriage counselor. These individuals are trained in exploring the dynamics of a relationship and what lead a spouse to choose infidelity. More importantly, they are trained in helping couples reconcile the hurting relationship and find ways to work through the infidelity. The goal of counseling should be a more open, trusting, and infidelity free marriage.
Either once you’ve started counseling, or you’re planning on working it out without counseling, it is important to focus on “us time” where you’re talking about couple similarities or activities you enjoy together rather than differences. While it is important to work through the infidelity, it is also imported to experience a sense of joy and love for each other again. Avoid going to a friend or family member to talk about your partner, rather address these concerns with him or her first. If a third party is needed, seek professional counseling before a friend or family member.
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